The Emergent Prophet on Mount Caramel

After reading about the latest shenanigans perpetrated in the name of the Church – like Christian leaders observing Ramadan - I got to wondering what it would be like if Elijah would have embraced these ideas during the time of his confrontation with the 450 prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel (1 Kings 18). These musings are written from the perspective of the thoroughly modern Elijah who is now an emergent prophet who was decided to meet together with the prophets of Baal for a dialogue on Mt. Carmel. Elijah is going to keep everyone updated through his blog and twitter page about what happens on that one day.

Daily Blog 01: 7:12 am

First of all, let me start off this blog today by sharing my personal feelings of inadequacy and sense of failure. I was certain that I had invited my Baal worshipping friends to meet me at Mount Caramel. I thought that this was a new specialty coffee shop. I was so looking forward to a double-decaf pumpkin latte with a wonderful drizzle of caramel on top of the freshly whipped (low fat, no antibiotics added, free-range) cream. But, alas, it is not MOUNT CARAMEL, it is a real mountain! Mount CARMEL. Boy do I feel silly. I also feel hungry – I didn’t eat breakfast and was counting on getting a cinnamon raisin scone or perhaps a lemon cream pastry, along with my latte’. I am also frustrated – I was hoping to have a place to plug in my laptop, not to mention having a Wi-Fi hotspot to send my blogs.

Daily Blog 02: 7:36 am

Thank God (well, I don’t really want to say “God” – in case that term is offensive to some of my atheist friends – what I mean is, Thank My Higher Power, so whenever I say “God” , think “Higher Power”) that I brought by iPhone so I can still send my blogs!

Daily Blog 03: 8:16 am

OK. I’m getting really hungry. I wish that I would have thought to bring a muffin, pop-tart, or something…just in case. I don’t know what is taking them so long. I am sure that I told them seven-thirtyish. Oh well, I‘ll try to use the time to give you some background while I am waiting (and to keep my mind off of my growling stomach). You see, this whole thing came from my idea that since Judaism and Baal worship were the two largest religions in Israel, I just thought that we should get together and try to come to some sort of understanding of each other. You know, have some meaningful dialogue about these two great monotheistic (can I say that?) faith traditions. And that together, we could promote the common good.

Daily Blog 04: 8:32 am

Oh, I see them coming now. There are a lot of them…well over 400. They look rather serious (I told them that dress was casual and that there was no need to spruce up) – but they are all coming in their worship robes and all are carrying swords (we really need to have someone register all weapons here – not that I ‘m afraid, just concerned about the whole image thing).

Let me describe them for you: well, I already mentioned that they were in their ceremonial robes and are carrying swords and daggers. Most of these guys have long beards (I mean really long beards) and look like they could use a bath (not that I am judging them – I just come from a bathing tradition). They look very serious, almost angry. I hope that by the end of the day, when it is all said and done, that they will not be so upset with me and they will see that I am their friend and on the same spiritual journey as they are.

Daily Blog 05: 9:26 am

Well, what has happened so far is this: I had suggested that we get together for a orange mocha frappucino, and since that didn’t work out (I already mentioned the whole coffee shop fiasco), I thought that we could have a beer together (not until after 10 am, of course). I mean, that is what my staff and I do when we have problems – we just have a beer together and by the time we’ve quaffed a few of them – the problems don’t seem to be so big. This has been the course for international diplomacy in our country for a little while now, and if it works for King Ahab, then I felt that it would work here, too.

BUT, they said that their religion forbids them to drink alcohol (religion can be such a barrier to good relationships), and they were fasting – at least until the sun went down. So, we had to come up with another plan. They suggested a contest between our two gods. Now I am going on record to say that I was against it from the start – a contest means that someone has to lose. And I believe that everyone is a winner. But, I deferred to their preferences. However, I had to take a stand (without seeming to be too dogmatic) because they wanted to have a human sacrifice – and I told them that I just wasn’t comfortable with that idea (not that I am in any place to judge their faith traditions, and it is above my pay grade to determine when it is OK to take human life), but I just felt that perhaps we could do something else.

So, they suggested that we each offer an ox as a sacrifice and see which god would accept the offering. So I reluctantly agreed (apologies to my PETA, Wiccan, and Hindu friends) along with some stipulations: first of all, we would thank brother cow for giving up his life for this test, then we would apologize to mother earth for upsetting the wonderful balance in nature by taking this ox’s life, and then we would pray that it wasn’t anyone that we knew in a past life. They laughed at me at first, but eventually agreed.


Daily Blog 06: 11:46 am

Wow. All I can say is WOW! I have been watching these guys go at it for over an hour now and I am really impressed with their fervor. I mean, they are crying out to their god, they are jumping around and shouting and yelling – I envy their passion.

Daily Blog 07: 12:32 pm

You know I am beginning to see how misguided I was. For these many years I have believed that there were such things as black and white, right and wrong; but now I see that we all live life in shades of gray and it doesn’t matter how you come to god, just that you come in the way that is comfortable for you. Though, frankly, this way doesn’t look too comfortable – they are starting to cut themselves. But what passion! I really feel that there is much to learn from them.




Daily Blog 09: 1:33 pm

I just fired off a letter to my colleagues as well as some professors in universities and seminaries. The letter (which I’ll post on my website later) apologizes to the priests of Baal for past injustices and inequalities. For example, I took personal responsibility for the fact that one of my ancestors – Gideon – tore down, without any warning or provocation, an altar to Baal. I feel that the root cause of all these years of animosity between these two great traditions - is us. All the problems are really our fault. So, I’ve asked my friends to sign this letter and we will post it in the next Jerusalem Today paper – so everyone can read it! I feel blessed to be here.


Daily Blog 09: 2:12 pm

Well since my last blog, I have had the chance to talk with Ahmed. He was a worshipper who got a little carried away with his ceremonial sword and cut his Achilles tendon. So while he was getting patched up (before getting back to the interpretive dance) we had a chance to talk. I asked him to help me to understand their way of worship – to be my mentor. I told him that I felt that this would be a God-honoring expression of peace, fellowship, and neighborliness. He agreed. Cool.

Daily Blog 10: 5:24 pm

Man, this has been great! I am so tired. I have been jumping around, shouting (my throat is raw), and even cut myself up a bit (hope my life partner doesn’t notice). It is sooooo freeing! We can all learn from this abandonment to the greater good, this freedom to be who you are and to worship whoever you want in any way you want. Man, I can’t wait until the next service at our fellowship – things are going to be different! It’s only Friday, but Saturday’s coming!

Daily Blog 11: 7:02 pm

Well, they have given up. Baal never answered – at least not in any tangible way. But I can see that I have been changed. I don’t even feel the need to go on with this contest – I sense that we have come to a place of understanding. Not that they have let me talk about my beliefs at all, they still think that their god is greater, and all that, but still, I sense that I have changed. And isn’t that what our spiritual journey is about – personal change?

Daily Blog 12: 9:45 pm

I have been so blessed today. We decided that there was no use in me praying to my god any longer, so we talked about what we should do next (BTW, I am going to join these guys on their pilgrimage to Babylon – the spiritual journey that every true Baal disciple must perform, and who knows what’s next – maybe I’ll tag along on a Jihad – just to observe, of course). I am so excited. But they suggested that we end the day with a BBQ – why waste the oxen? But I told them that I was a Vegan. Eventually, we parted company…as friends (though some of the guys still look at me with what appears to be pure hatred – but I am sure that it is something that I said, or did…it must be my fault).



Daily Blog 13: 11:56 pm

As I head to bed I just want to express how wonderful I feel today. I started out the day believing in one god, in one truth, in one way, and now I see that god (whoever he or she is to you) is bigger than that and there can be many ways to Paradise. I now can say that I am less concerned about Doctrine and more concerned about Diversity; I am less concerned about Truth and more concerned about Unity; I am less concerned about being Holy and more concerned with being a part of the Whole. I have decided that I will no longer be known as a prophet, but I will write books, I will reach a wider audience through expensive retreats and conferences, I will fight intolerance! I will be an Author, Speaker, and Social Activist for change. I may even become a Community Organizer! Then…who knows?


All for one in the name of Unity through Diversity and Co-Existence,

The Wanderer (formerly known as the Prophet Elijah)

1 Kings 18:21  And Elijah came near to all the people and said, "How long will you go limping between two different opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal, then follow him." And the people did not answer him a word.